miko

i didn't pass an exam i was working so hard on. i need to pay to repeat it and will have to beg my professor next year to let me write the make-up test early, because if he doesn't, i won't do my dissertation in time.

i feel so useless and defeated. i tell everyone who didn't pass that they shouldn't blame themselves, but i can't apply that to myself. academia was the one thing that always went well for me, but since i take my anxiety medicine, i struggle to focus. i feel like i lost a part of myself.

i don't even like that degree. it feels awful to fail. but mostly it's annoying, because it means so many problems in the future.

this year sucks.